Gone

20 years in Scn…
I was an auditor for 10 years. Some said I
was the best auditor they’d ever had. Maybe.
I loved the tech and I was a fierce defender
of Scn. Seeing my pcs win was better than
getting auditing myself. My own auditing, for the most part, was nothing short of nirvana and
enlightenment on a regular basis.
A few SO missions into the org in ’96 convinced me
that Scn was on the way down. 100 hour week, No sleep. Little food. No pay. It’s only a body?
Try running up and down stairs 14 hours per day
on 200 calories per day. I lost 30 lbs in 2 months.
The invalidation and rage-filled shakedowns
at a time when I had highest ever stats
was the final blow.
I remember that, on the day before the March 13th
event, as a director I had gotten
highest ever stats for my department. And
this in one of the oldest orgs on the planet.
Just before the big birthday event (LRH’s
birthday), the SO Mission I/C got in my face
and, with blood-curdling force and intention,
screamed, “Why didn’t you get more hours?????”
That was it for me. This org had been there
for 40 years, and I get highest ever Well Done
Auditing Hours. And then this.
Sorry, this isn’t what I signed up for.
I signed up for theta, freeing beings, creating
an artistic environment, working
with a team that respects its fellows and
engenders trust and loyalty.
I suffered through the following ‘ethics
handlings’ until, financially broke and
complete demoralized, I called my mother
and asked her to wire me some money.
I left that day, 13 years ago.
With all that I’ve read in the last few years, it’s
starting to make sense. I was a devotee. I
knew the tech worked. I’m not one of those
‘All Scn is bad’ people. I know it works. I just
can’t audit in an environment where they’re
looking for the next witch to burn…..
Maybe some beings who are strong enough and
have the command intention will be able to
patch Scn back together.
What a job that will be!
I’m sure that most who blow after years on
staff are simply trying to figure out how to
live in the wog world.
If Scn does return (it’s been gone for a while),
I’ll be back, ready to audit again.
Until then, it’s just another day on
planet earth.