I studied my first Scientology course in Nice, France, next to Antibes, which is my home. I entered the mission with my best friend Eva, whom I was forced to disconnect with, as her mother was a ‘squirrel’. The Nice mission was filled with hard working, incredible people whom I instantly respected and felt a connection with. All of them were uptone, and honestly stellar humans. I right away ( at age 16) signed up for staff and became a basic ( book one) auditor. Because I was in the French equivalent of high school, I had no free time, and only worked occasionally. However, I went to Saint Hill for an event and ended up signing a Sea org contract. I needed to get away from the alcohol driven life I was living, where both of my parents were attempting to control my life to an extent I could not take. I was under tremendous pressure, so joining the Sea Org sounded like a great way to start over, where my family could not control me.

I joined the SO at about age 17, and completed the EPF program in 3 weeks. I was given the second highest position on base (apart from CMO) called the D/LC for Estab, which was Div 7 of CLO. I had an amazing boss, who to this day I look at as a hero and leader. He took an insane amount of verbal abuse from CMO, who were constantly over his shoulder, screaming at him or pestering him.  He would treat me calmly and with respect. After about 8 months, I was promoted to FLO as a writer; I was told that I would be writing the LRH biography and was chosen to go uplines to CMO Int. Within one week of arriving at FLO ( note: I was so keen on being there, that I had gone to great lengths, including having regged someone for over 50,000 dollars so I could have a replacement…long story), I was so utterly destroyed by the negativity that permeated everything and everyone, I ended up ‘blowing’. First of all, FLO is under tremendous pressure to monitor and raise the stats of all orgs worldwide. They have no lives. They have no ‘first’ or ‘second’ dynamic. They are ( mostly) cold, hollow people who are shells of what they were when they first did that basic course. From the almost evil supervisor I had, to the dentist, people would scream at me, for no reason at all. It was sheer insanity, and NOTHING like what I had seen at Saint Hill, where policy was not followed properly. I had to leave for my own sanity, and fast. The worst part was that I was living in a shitty, dirty and tattered room on Hollywood Blvd. where one of my roommates was to some degree mentally ill or severely screwed up in some way. She was in her late 40s, and would one moment be kind to me, the next snapping like a mad woman. This was, funny enough, common behavior. Being an artist, I realized in that short duration of time that I would be taken down if I stayed. I knew I couldn’t do it.

When I left, I was threatened to be declared, but my Senior there was a kind man who wanted me to get through things. As a public, the abuse continued, but at Celebrity Centre, which is by far one of the most strangest orgs i have been to. The staff there had would stare at every public if they were degraded fools to be preyed on. They had no respect for public, and would insult them nonstop. Cassie, HCO, and of course David Petit would reg the hell out of everyone. CC is the regging center in LA, because of the actors that go there. Everything from buying 50 copies of battlefield Earth to buying a total strangers course had been thrown in front of me. Because my job in the SO was as a recruiter ( and I am trained in business, to a degree) I can only be swayed if I see it is integral. But others could not, so no line was drawn, and if you didn’t pay up, you were essentially insulted behind your back.

I was the VM IC for LA at CC. I regged my own non Scn mom for the funds. I was a hard core helper, and my help was abused. The staff ( save a few fantastic people, one of whom is Fiona McNally, who was later issued a Non Enturb order and threatened) are absolutely in covert hostility or no sympathy. They do not care about you or your marriage. They have SUCH pressure to reg you, or recruit you.

So, to the next part. I was such a hard core giver that I became friends with many staffers at CC. I trusted Cassie and the staff. I decided that I may want to join the SO again, but was hesitant. One day Cassie shows up at my door, and I tell her that. She tells me we’ll do a drill: I pack my bags and go, and if I still feel like it’s wrong, I can leave. this sounded fair. I arrived at CC and it still felt wrong. My gut was just aching to get out of there. In walks David Petit. Now David Petit is a very hateful human being. He has sheer hatred for gays, and days earlier, told me he had done a clay demo with a man giving another man a blow job and as the Supervisor was sort of ‘what the hell is this’, he said the demo was showing an SP or whatnot. I believe David himself is gay and will not admit it, and has never been able to accept it or something. Anyone who meets him and hears him speak can tell he seems gay, but yet he expresses such hatred towards gays.

When he saw me, he literally had a psychotic break, and I am not joking when I say that. he was violently shaking, calling me a ‘stupid bitch’, an SP, and pulling out policy to ‘prove’ I was an SP, all so he could recruit me to join his team of auditors. It was insane, and deeply scary. I was so stunned and shaken I said I would join, just to get out of that room. I went to the berthing place, slept the night there, and told the EPF IC I had never finished routing in and was leaving, which I did.

There are sick individuals rarely mentioned, and I want to mention them. One is David Petit, as I mentioned. The other is the head of PR at CMO UK. I have forgotten his name, but he is in the Orientation video, and he used to be a fireman. He had moments of being a really unique, charismatic mad who believed he was in an ethical group, but would snap at my senior so quickly. He was scary, and I believe is still there. CMO is where many of the power hungry go, and they abuse their power.

Though my time in the SO was not horrible, there were abuses that i did not notice. I was paid under 20 quid a week usually, and shared a room with about 8 people. I had an expensive necklace stolen, and no one helped me find it. The food was appalling, and barely edible. Staff NEVER got auditing, and I had to pay for my Purif.

Another abuse is a death that has gone undetected. I will mention the name of the killer if you contact me, but not here. A boy whom I was trying to help was insane, and both his Scn parents deeply wanted to help him. I lived with him and his mother for about 2 weeks. He always told me about voices in his head telling him to hurt people, and he badly was trying to restrain himself. His father reported him trying to attack him. He went to get the Int rundown in Paris, California, and sometime later, came home and killed a man. This poor, poor boy, who we all believed would be cured, took a life because he never got any help. Scn let him down, and his victim. This is what it does.

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