Archive for October, 2009

Blown for Good book – VIDEO of the Day

Friday, October 30th, 2009

Over the past few weeks, I have had a few people send video links to me.

So far, this one is my favorite. It is one part book review, one part lip sync video and one part random access. All together that makes a video that I will post up on my site!

Sometimes they make me want to scream too!

Click here to watch the Boogie Down Video!

Until next time…

Post your Review of the BFG Book

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009


This is a page for all the people that read the Blown for Good book and would like to post their review here for all to see.


Sunday, October 25th, 2009

By Gene Decheff

I have told my story of leaving the Gold/Int base at various times to various people over the last 19 years and decided to put it out there for anyone who is interested. I also decided to refuse to be intimidated, and use my real name, as the story makes it obvious who I am anyway. I have also already been part of an investigation by a private investigator sent by the Church and they found nothing. This is a factual account of my experience, not an attack on the Church or anyone in it. The Church should have nothing to fear from the truth of what occurred.

In the fall of 1990 I was a Gold staff member working in Estates after getting off the RPF for the third time. My wife had been approved for RTC after several successful years as CO CMO IXU in PAC. DM found out about this and cancelled the approval and put her in HCO Gold. She had also recently done a successful recruit mission that got a lot of people approved and sent to Gold from PAC.

In September of 1990 it was decided to send her back to PAC to recruit more people for Gold. She was given a quota and a time target to do this. This time it did not go as well. On October 8th she was ordered back to Gold. She knew she would end up digging ditches or worse. At that time we were sharing a two bedroom apartment at the Devonshire Apartments in Hemet. The couple we were sharing with just happened to be the CO Gold, Wendell Reynolds and his wife. Getting the recall was the final straw for my wife. We were one of the lucky few Gold/Int staff who had a car. She left LA, drove to the apartment, packed some clothes and hit the road.

At this time we had already been married for 10 years. Our marriage had survived through thick and thin, including my 3 RPF assignments when I would not see her for months at a time, missions all over the world, transfers, etc.
This is where it gets interesting. At the time my wife was on her way to freedom, I was chosen to go on a project ordered by DM to complete the security fencing around the Base. I was in briefing for this project in CMO Gold when I was told my wife had blown. This was a shocker, to say the least. I knew she had not been happy since being transferred to Int/Gold, but I did not expect her to blow.

Anyone reading this that is familiar with “Mission Tech” knows that before you fire on a mission or project, you have to be approved by HCO and Qual. This means you have to be in a good state of mind, with no “case” issues, no ethics issues, and no PRESENT TIME PROBLEMS in your life. Well, after a phone call to my wife at her parents’ with Security present, I was fired on the project. Security and everyone else I talked to assured me that she would be back. I knew different.
This was the point I decided I was done. I continued on the project, with Andre Tabayoyn as the Project In Charge, and Kevin O’Hare.

One night after work I returned to the Devonshire Apartments. They had an outside pay phone and I used it to call my wife. That is when told her was done and was going to join her. I continued to call her from that pay phone a few times a week for a couple weeks. I was very afraid someone would see me and report it. They never did. I figured either everyone really did think she was coming back, or they really were clueless of what was going on.

I started quietly packing a few small boxes of personal belongings at night and hiding them in my closet. I don’t even remember how I got the boxes as this would have been a dead giveaway if I had been seen.
I decided on the date I would leave and made the last call to my wife.

Here is another amazing key part of the story. One obvious factor in leaving the Sea Org after 11 years is MONEY. Few SO members were able to accumulate any savings, myself included. Somehow a few months earlier I received a pre-approved letter from Discover Card. I accepted the card and it made it to me through Security. This was especially odd since I had previously had a Visa card while at Flag that had to be charged off due to months in the RPF and no way to pay off the balance.

On the morning of 22 October, I got up at about 4am and with Discover Card in hand, quietly slipped out of the apartment and walked about 5 miles to the Ryder truck rental store in Hemet. I waited until they opened and rented a box van. I drove around Hemet until I knew the last bus had left to take the crew to the Base.

I knew it would only be a matter of time before I was missed and someone would come looking for me. I was loading everything I could, as fast as I could, into the truck when Andre arrived. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was leaving. Of course he tried any way he could to get me to change my mind. I continued loading the truck. Then, knowing it was also HIS ass if I were to succeed in leaving, he asked me to stay until he called Security. This is where everyone is going to think I was nuts. I agreed. I guess I figured that if I cooperated, they would eventually let me go, as opposed to fighting them.

About thirty minutes later, Jackson from Security arrived. He also tried every possible way he could think of to get me to stay. Finally as a last resort got me to agree to come back to the Base so Security could go through the truck. Again, I agreed, for the same reason. My biggest fear about this was that I would no longer be in a public area like the apartments if I needed help. I would now be on private property behind a fence with gates and no way to get help.

I arrived back at the Base between noon and 1pm. I was met by two security guards. They got into the back of the truck and got busy searching everything that I had.
They went through every page, of every book I had. They took any photos out of my albums that had ANY Scientology significance, i.e.; anyone in SO uniform, any Church buildings, etc. After being in the CMO for a total of 4 years, I had some gifts that I had received from LRH that were given on special occasions, like Birthday, SO Day, etc. Those were also confiscated. At one point I sensed that they were getting frustrated about not finding enough booty to confiscate. One of the guards happened to look down at my feet and said; “are those uniform issue?” He was referring to the work boots I was wearing. They had been issued to me as part of my Estates uniform. He told me I would have to leave them as they were Church property. I took off the boots and handed them to him. I dug through some things in the truck and came up with an old pair of cowboy boots I had and put them on.

Now it was about 4pm, and after over 3 hours of searching the truck, to my surprise and relief I was allowed to leave the Base. I drove to the Denny’s in Beaumont and called my wife. I was free. I had lunch and hit the road and never looked back. I reunited with my wife at her sisters’ in Vancouver, Washington and we started rebuilding our life. We will celebrate our 29th anniversary this December.

Major Declared SP on Facebook?

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Scilons back on Facebook sending messages to people listed as my friends.

Jim Meskimen is new Facebook friend censor for scientology

Last I checked, Lightfield Lewis did a small course in Scientology over a decade ago. So I guess that makes him the current expert on the subject. Also, not to be picky, but if David Miscavige is a “Captain” in the Sea Org and I have been assigned the status of “Major Declared SP” doesn’t that give me a higher rank than him? Just sayin’.

Also ironic that Jim Meskimen works for Jib Jab. Jib Jab are the guys that have made some of the funniest Scientology videos to ever hit the net. Whatever pays the bills, right Jim? But, kudos to Jim and Lightfield for plugging the book Jim! Next time link to the website [url=]Blown for Good – Behind the Iron Curtain of Scientology Official Blown for Good site.[/url] too! November 5th you can get your own copies and find out what David Miscavige has been hiding from you all these years.

Until next time…


BFG book is for Scientologists that have questions

Friday, October 16th, 2009

To all those scientologists reading this site or things I have posted, I am not interested in challenging you or what you believe in. I spent over a decade producing the propaganda events that you were made to attend. I know that much of what you have been told is pure fiction. I also understand that many scientologists also know this or at least have suspected things going on are wrong or at least odd in some form or another.  If you have been given information about me, evaluate where your information is coming from. Is it coming from the same people that told you that they were going to build a Super Power building in Clearwater 15 years ago? It took less time to build the Empire State Building and at a fraction of the costs. Is it from the same people that told you they reviewed all of the Scientology books and made sure they were “completely 100% verified as on Source” in the 1980’s and then again in the 1990’s and then again a few years ago? Is it the same people that have been calling you on the phone at all times during the day or night asking you for money?  Well, I think you can see where this is going.

For 15 years, I worked at the International Headquarters of a business that specialized in getting a lot of money from a lot of people all over the world. This business had many different corporations and hundreds and hundreds of bank accounts all over the world. This business was run by one person and one person only the ENTIRE 15 years I worked there. This business was called Scientology. The person who made all of the decisions regarding how money was made and what new ways money would be gotten from people was David Miscavige. If something that was being done within any organization was not making money, then it was no longer to be done. For anyone that does not think that it is all about the money, think about that for a minute, and you will be sure to see the light.

I have written about my 15 years of employment at the Int Base and detailed out the conditions and events which occurred there. Some of these have been posted on the Internet. Most everything that I have written and much, much, more are detailed out in my new book – BLOWN for GOOD – behind the Iron Curtain of Scientology.

This book sheds a lot of light on many events that have occurred over the past two decades. Many of these events will make a lot more sense to you after you read the book. From the scientologists that HAVE read the book, one for one, they have expressed that this book explains a lot of things that they have never been told and WHY. After reading the book, many scientologists have been able to make sense for themselves why they did not leave earlier or even why they stayed AFTER reading the book. If you have doubts about why you are a scientologist, or just want to know what happens behind the scenes and have no intentions of ever leaving, this book is for you.

Until next time…


BFG Update – October 16th, 2009

Friday, October 16th, 2009

Just wanted to give everybody an update in regards to what’s been going on in the past few months. I have been very busy so some of you might not have heard from me in awhile.

In terms of the case, it is moving forward. The Scientology organization has made several attempts to have the case dismissed or delayed and these have not worked. They have also reportedly spent three million dollars so far fighting this case. Obviously, this is insane as what we are asking for them to resolve in terms of the unpaid wages is LESS than what they have spent trying to make the case go away.  With the case going to trial, they are likely to spend at least 2-3 times what has been spent so far just on the trial proceedings! While this might seem like knee jerk wastage on the Scientology organization’s part, this is not new to them. On the Wollershiem case that went on for over two decades, they reportedly spent over 100 million dollars fighting the case and ended up paying him over 9 million dollars in the end. He originally asked for a under a million dollars in damages and refunds when the case first started.   If persons donating funds that go to the IAS knew they were burning their money, maybe they would not give them so much. This money is all coming from people that are giving it to them in the name of religious freedom. My case has NOTHING to do with the religion of Scientology. Most of what I have campaigned for in regards to my experiences with these people has NOTHING to do with any Scientology philosophies; it has to do with their organizations breaking labor and employment laws.

When I first started the Blownforgood website, it was my idea to get stories from those were also blown for good and then post them so the truth could be known. Former employees and members that had blown and were tracked down and brought back were numerous, but scattered all over the place. I figured that if I could get people to start speaking out about their horrible experiences, family members of these people could see what had REALLY happened and would reach out to these disconnected or Declared SP’s and reconnect with them. As I started getting stories sent into me, OSA got busy, REAL busy.

Kirsten Caetano and Tommy Davis started holding meetings with people. Some of these meetings were taking place at OSA International in Hollywood, California with scientology’s in house lawyers present. The meetings were being recorded and in most cases former members were told that if they signed a series of documents, the freeloader bills and SP declares would be cancelled. No documents could be taken from the meeting to be reviewed by outside attorneys.  Those people that refused to meet on Scientology turf, would end up meeting in a hotel somewhere, still with the familiar accoutrements of the recording devices and in house attorneys. Most if not all of these people either knew me well or were connected to me in some way. Tommy stated in numerous meetings that he now had the authority of the International Justice Chief and could cancel both Suppressive Person declares and Freeloader Bills.  There was only one proviso – they could not have any contact with Marc Headley. Tommy Davis & Kirsten Caetano would go so far as to tell people that they “could even talk to other Suppressive Persons all they wanted, but not to Marc Headley.”

At first I assumed that this was specifically isolated to those that knew me and local to the California area. Then I started getting calls and emails from people that I did not know in different states about these meetings. When I spoke to someone from Europe that I had never heard of in my life that Kirsten had flown all the way over there to meet with them, I was very surprised. I was even more surprised when she had told this person that I was attempting to destroy the religion of Scientology and was a member of Anonymous!

At this point, a few things were clearer to me.  The first was that I had sorely underestimated how much I was doing was affecting the organizations running scientology. The second was that they do not understand Anonymous and their operation.  At the very least, they have a crashing misunderstood regarding anonymous. Per the Miriam Webster dictionary, the word “anonymous”, the derivation of which is Late Latin anonymus, from Greek anōnymos, from a-onyma name — means:

1 : not named or identified.

So, by the very virtue that I have revealed who I am, I CANNOT be a member of Anonymous.  Duh. Even people that were being told this had spotted this outpoint. “If you know it is Marc Headley, then isn’t he no longer anonymous?”

Either way, hundreds of meetings took place, and many people were able to talk to their families again by cutting a deal with OSA, Tommy or Kirsten. Many refused to make any “deals” or sign any documents and these people would not be allowed to speak with family members again. Most people, no matter what deal they made, called me and told me what happened.

Without even posting one story on my site, I can safely say that at least 50 family members were reconnected that I KNOW OF due to these damage control meetings that being held. These meetings have continued to take place as recent of 3 weeks ago. Over one million dollars worth of freeloader bills have been cancelled.  At least 10 SP declares have been cancelled or suspended.

In addition to people being reconnected with their families, those who had no idea who I was, were at least given my name and interrogated regarding knowing or having contact with me. That was enough. Google is not only your friend but a very good friend to disgruntled scientologists around the world. I started getting contacted by people all over the place. I spoke with many scientologists that had family member in the Sea Org or on staff or just a regular ol’ scientologists that wanted to get my story straight from me.  Some decided that they would leave, some decided that they would stay and update me on what was happening from time to time. Some had even said that they would spread the word amongst those still in. Regardless of what these people decided to do, I could see that the kool-aid was being watered down or at least some members were developing some form of immunity to whatever current recipe David Miscavige was serving up.

While there is no doubt you have seen reports of very high level members leaving in recent weeks and months, there are many, many more on their way to leaving in the near future. With each new person that leaves, there are several more that will now be able to do so without fear of retribution or disconnection.

Based on the information that I recently obtained, OSA and RTC are overwhelmed with flaps at this point. Between Anonymous flash raids and protests all over the world, web sites with once secretive information popping up all over the place, former employees and staff telling their stories, and now hundreds of members leaving and taking their friends and family with them, the reports are flooding in regarding the destructive and in most cases, illegal activities of RTC and individual organizations. Add to this that David Miscavige is insisting on continuing his Ideal Org plan and fundraising actions across the globe and you have a self destruction plan in place that is sure to occur.

While this could be viewed as good news or hopeful information, it has not happened yet and until it does, I will continue to expose what I know and get the word out. I just had the website redone, my book is coming out in a few weeks and I am looking at doing some sort of trip to promote it. To all those that are fighting the fight, getting the word out and exposing the lies, I applaud you and I hope I can live up to your expectations.

Until next time…


P.S. Also, if someone could send me the contact info for the Big Pharma accounts people, that would be great. I still have not gotten one penny from them for anything that I have done!


Thursday, October 15th, 2009


I left Scientology the first time in 1990, when I realized that there was “something dangerously wrong” with the Boston Org. At that time, I assumed it was a local phenomenon, and that there must be an undetected Suppressive Person high in the ranks of the Org.

I remember feeling extremely alone, and afraid to talk to others about how I was feeling. In the ethics book, I had been shown many times that talking to others about your desire to leave was a Crime. I had been warned repeatedly that I could be Declared Suppressive, just for communicating what I had to the ethics officer who was “trying to get me out of lower conditions”.

I tried to talk to my then-wife, Nitza about it, but she complained to another staff member, and I was told not to enturbulate her, and in effect told that my relationship with her was no longer MINE, but the Church’s. I actually ASKED for Security Checks, because I KNEW that the only reason I could be having these thoughts was that I had overts against the Church. The worst thing I could think of, however, was having sex with my wife in the Church, furtively, a few times. Or the crime of masturbation, which I was told was “out 2d”, and restimulative, to boot. Finally, the truth was, I had stolen about $.75 from “the coffee fund” on a few separate occasions, in order to be able to afford a slice of pizza at a local joint called Despina’s, on Mass Avenue. To me, this failure to “contact” any stronger overts or withholds just showed how bad off I really was. Clearly, I was “not-ising” the worse things in my memory. But I had some sense, still. I reasoned that if the tech were so perfect, how come the auditor couldn’t “pull my withholds”, and get me out of the condition I was in? It never occurred to me that I simply HADN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG. Not for many years. I was no longer receiving pay, as my condition assignment was continually in “lowers”, which means between confusion and liability. The answer, I was told, was to find out who I really was. When I asked what this meant, I was asked if I had not understood one of the words. I looked it over. “Find out who you really are.” Nope. I was fine on the words. I was asked to demonstrate the concept. I could. I put one block on the table, saying it represented the real me. Then I put a collection of other small objects on top of and around this (paper clips, rubber bands… a demo kit), and said they were false concepts of who I was. Then I removed them all, and pointed to the block representing me, and said that was who I really was. This passed. But I still didn’t understand how I was supposed to do that, outside of auditing. This received a wink and a nod. That was when I “cognited” that a being was in ENEMY, until he was audited to the point where he knew who he really was. And I was led to believe that I did NOT know who I was right then. Man was I confused.

This situation went on for months, until, through a combination of food deprivation (no money), relationship stress, lower condition assignments, and the utter FAILURE to find any more overts or withholds to write up, I finally realized that something was seriously and dangerously wrong with scientology, and with me, since I couldn’t perceive what it was that was wrong.

I told my wife then that I was leaving, that I couldn’t take it any longer. She was about two months pregnant with our first child, at the time, and after weeks of my being away, she finally rejoined me. But I was pretty much a shell of who I had been. I knew I was a Suppressive Person. I knew that meant I was a criminal. I knew that I was responsible for “denying my wife her bridge”.

And for about eight years after that point, I continued to believe that there was something seriously wrong with me, because I didn’t trust my perception that there was something wrong with Scientology. Who the Hell was I to make such a claim? The problem is, Scientology and Dianetics have very many strongly workable techniques to enhance a persons abilities and perceptions. I continue to believe that to this day!, as I continue to get gain from auditing. Knowing that, and being overwhelmed at the incredible potency of “The Tech”, I was unable to think clearly about some inconsistencies and problems.

These inconsistencies lie primarily in the Organizational philosophy, called Admin Tech. Even a lot of the Admin Tech is very workable, and intelligent in its design. The problem is, the people at the top of the orgs (including Hubbard himself), have always ignored these policies when it suited them to do so.

And now, the Auditors in the orgs, who are really the only defensible reason for the orgs to exist, have learned to not look at the inconsistencies in application. They are afraid of losing their certificates, their social position, and maybe even their minds if they voice objections too loudly or often. And so, these guys lose their integrity, and become Sec Checkers, in the end. They may audit some high paying pc’s on regular scientology, sometimes, but the bulk of their work on staff members seems to be in Sec Checking, which keeps people aligned with “Command Intention”. (By the way, this was not the original purpose of Confessional style auditing!) Thus, they end up selling their souls for the right to control the souls of others. It is really sickening, and it is what is wrong with Scientology.

Thanks for reading.


STORY #10 (french)

Thursday, October 15th, 2009


Jean-Paul Dubreuil

Mon histoire d’ex scientologue (Texte pour Blown for good)

J’ai adhéré à la scientologie en 1984 sous l’insistance de mon ex épouse qui en était membre depuis quelque temps. Je suis devenu auditeur de dianétique.  Ensuite, j’ai amené mes trois enfants à joindre les rangs de la secte.

En 1989, toute la famille est entrée dans la Sea Org à Toronto, Canada. Jean-François avait 22 ans, Philippe en avait 20 et Anne-Marie seulement 14 ans.

Personnellement, je suis arrivé à la Sea Org de Toronto en juillet 1989 et j’en suis revenu en janvier 1990.

Ce qui était promis :

Pour me convaincre de joindre les rangs de la Sea Org, on m’avait promis de me faire poursuivre mes études d’auditeur à temps plein jusqu’à classe 8, tout en recevant un salaire de 90$ par semaine, logé nourri et habillé.

Ce qui est arrivé :

En arrivant là-bas, J’ai dû faire le EPF pendant six semaines, ce qui consiste à laver les planchers, charrier la nourriture de tout le personnel de l’organisation dans le métro, des cuisines d’une maison à l’édifice de la Sea Org, laver les toilettes, et toute autre tâches d’entretien ménager, ce, en augmentant le rendement d’une journée à l’autre, pour prouver que je pouvais m’améliorer. En plus, il fallait suivre trois heures de cours avec la méthode de lavage de cerveau inventée par Hubbard.

Pendant toute la duré de mon séjour, je n’ai été payé que deux fois : une fois 32$ et l’autre 35$.

Après mon EPF, j’ai voulu poursuivre mes études pour devenir auditeur classe 8, mais on m’a dit que l’organisme avait besoin de moi dans un autre domaine et que je pourrais plus tard reprendre mes études d’auditeur.

Je suis devenu le Ace team in charge pour le compte de SMI CAN. Le travail consistait à visiter les missions de scientologie canadiennes et à en fonder d’autre. Je devais générer suffisamment de revenu de mon travail pour payer mes dépenses, mais c’était impossible : j’étais un tech et non un admin.  Hubbard lui-même avait écrit que c’est un crime de mettre un tech en admi . Ça ne peut pas fonctionner. J’ai donc dû utiliser mes 18 000 $ d’économies jusqu’à presque épuisement.

Pendant mon EPF, j’ai pu voir les enfants des membres gardés par le cuisinier qui devait aussi préparer la nourriture pour les 70 membres de la secte torontoise. Ils étaient sales, négligés et mal habillés. Il est même arrivé qu’un des plus âgés se fasse arrêté pour vol à l’étalage.

Ma fille, Anne-Marie, qui n’avait que 14 ans, fut retirée de l’école publique pour travailler à temps plein à la division du télex. Malgré son jeune âge, elle devait travailler autant d’heure que les adultes, soit de 8h à 23h,  parfois jusqu’à trois heures du matin.

Mon fils Philippe fut chargé de la salle de cours et Jean-François a été enrôlé dans le CMO, au service du CO CMO CAN.

Nous étions logés dans une maison insalubre, à 30 minutes de métro du lieu de travail. Mon ex et moi avions une chambre pour nous deux, mais comme seul meuble, un matelas sur le sol. Anne-Marie avait un lit au sous-sol dont le plancher était inondé de 10 centimètres d’eau.

Nous étions 20 dans cette maison avec une seule salle de bain, de sorte qu’il fallait se lever très tôt pour prendre une douche.

Les repas et la nourriture :

Les repas, la plupart du temps composé de riz et de bines, devait être pris en 30 minutes.

Un jour, tous les membres du personnel furent contaminés par la salmonelle, une bactérie qui provoque des diarrhées et de la fièvre.  Nous n’avons eu la visite d’aucun médecin. Nous nous sommes soignés entre nous.

Six mois après mon entrée dans la Sea Org, je me suis rendu compte que j’étais tombé dans une organisation insoutenable. J’ai donc blowé pour de bon, me disant que j’essaierais de reprendre la vie normale.

Depuis, j’ai écrit deux livres sur le sujet : L’Église de scientologie, facile d’y entrer, difficile d’en sortir, publié à compte d’auteur en 1994  et Les Coulisses de la scientologie, encore à compte d’auteur, en 2008.

J’ai aussi fait plusieurs conférences dans les écoles de ma région afin de prévenir les jeunes des dangers des sectes.

Je suis souvent invité par les médias, autant québécois que français, pour donner des entrevues au sujet de la scientologie. On peut voir les entrevues à partir du lien suivant :


Thursday, October 15th, 2009


Pieter W.

Here are a couple stories about my life inside Scientology. I am pretty sure I am going to get declared quite soon, so here ya go.

A toxic 13-year-old in the 90s, my sister Christy and I were forced to do the purification rundown at LA Org, a Scientology course that combines vitamins and a sauna to sweat out all unwanted drugs and toxins.  This was all well and good except that I should really be in school; forget the fact that I had never taken any drugs to sweat out.  They sold the idea to my mother by telling her that I was plagued with nasty dyes from all the sugar I’ve had over the course of my life.

We had a lot of fun on the purif, mainly avoiding the hotbox at all cost.  Christy met and befriended a ton of Scientology staff members who were also doing the purif.  I, on the other hand, twinned up with a LA Day staff member named Chuck, who wasn’t so friendly.  He was a good eight years older than me, but was surprisingly more interested in video games.  My twin was a bit quiet except when I beat Chuck at chess and he went into a rage and threw the chessboard across the room, then a chair followed by the phone at the phone booth.  His logic was that he was older and thus he should be better than me at chess.

During the purif, I remember asking for my Gameboy handheld video game system back and Chuck chased me around for five minutes and finally caught me on the Division 6 staircase, then held me against the wall by my throat.  I wasn’t able to breathe! As my feet were dangling, I thought I was going to die, so much so that I pissed my pants.  Due to the vast amounts of vitamins I consumed each day, my urine was a bright yellow color, and currently spilling out of my shorts onto the stairs.  He soon let go of me after witnessing my defense mechanism.  I am sure this tactic also works on bears, I might add.  It is hard to believe that this staff member would do such a thing, and over a video game, no less.  Apparently I distracted him and caused his character in the game to die and this made him mad.

I finished the purif without any real progress, but Christy had a great time with her new-found friends, and new-found smoking habit (which seems a wee bit counterproductive in the toxin department if you ask me).  She then joined LA Day staff to continue to have fun with them.

A lost friend my mother Cheryl did some transcription work for Dorian Hale (A.K.A. the son of Alan Hale “The Skipper” from the famous TV series “Gilligan’s Island”).  He used to come over and make all of us laugh with his stand-up comedy.  He would perform at the Improv in Hollywood every now and again.

I often heard my mother mention how she thought he had an alcohol addiction and that she wanted to help him by using Scientology.  I wasn’t bothered by his addiction because he was always cheerful and fun. Cheryl got work from many different sources, but Dorian was not just a work associate; he was a friend.

Dorian had an old broken-down Porsche that Christy fell in love with it right away.  It was glamorous compared to her Toyota Hatchback she got off my aunt.   I was against Christy getting a new car as her ugly silver hatchback never broke down and was in great condition, but no one listens to me.

On her staff pay, Christy couldn’t afford to buy the Porsche outright so she ended up doing a trade; her hatchback for the Porsche plus $500 cash.  My father contributed the cash, and the deal was done.  That Porsche was pretty on the outside, but ugly on the inside.  Mechanically it had tons of problems, and turned out to be a huge money pit.  As for Dorian, he loved his no-maintenance hatchback.  This was another perc to being on staff; not only did they waive her rent, pay for food, gas, clothes, but they partially bought her second car (the first one being the Toyota she just traded).

Finally my parents disseminated to him and got him to do a Scientology course at CC (I believe

Dorian attended an acting workshop there first).  After doing that one course, he was quite excited to go up the bridge and “fix” his life.  Mom was so proud, not only that she helped him, but this must have been the only time she has ever disseminated Scientology.  Later Dorian came to my mother quite upset saying that he really messed up this lifetime, and will have to do Scientology next lifetime because the org wouldn’t let him receive auditing due to his past connection with psych drugs. He was really a mess; I almost regretted eavesdropping on their conversation, but I was worried about Dorian.  Shortly

Thereafter, Dorian committed suicide.  I was quite upset that we weren’t told about his service, but I don’t think his family knew about his ties with us, since he knew us through work.  I never got the exact date of his death; all I know is that it could have been anytime between the time he left my mother’s house until a week later, when we found out.

I know in Scientology they say that psych drugs and alcohol are really bad for you, but they cannot be worse for you than being dead.  Dorian, you will always remain a happy memory, and your playfulness and humor have inspired me to become the person I am today.  You have been missed.

My final course

I remember the date I got disenchanted with Scientology.  It all started on September 12 2001,  the day after 9/11.  I went into course, and my supervisor Julie gave a speech before class started, and it sounded something like this:

“Hello, class.  I know things are looking glum with the current events happening in New York right now, but I wanted to give you a briefing.  Scientology is aware of this situation and we are doing our part to handle it.  There are a ton of volunteer ministers at ground zero, and just today our VMs assisted in finding two survivors! Not only that, but they are working around the clock to give all the firemen assists, which is essential to them handling their job!”

Every person in the course room cheered and seemed to be feeling much better about the events.  I, too, was feeling great and was ready to study my course.  At 10:00 p.m. after course, I raced home hoping to hear about the Scientology wins on the news.  To my disappointment, there was no mention of the VMs or of ANY survivors.  In fact, the anchor woman seemed beat from reporting bad news all day long.

The next day I went in to course, and Julie told us all another briefing where more survivors were saved and how much good the VMs were doing at ground zero.  This time it didn’t have the same effect as the previous day.  After the briefing, I told her how I saw nothing of what she said yesterday on the news.  Her explanation was that there is psych influence within the media and the conspiracy goes deeper than we know.  She said how there was a sea of yellow jackets in the crowds and that they were all VMs.

I raced home again that night and searched the news channels; I was half expecting to see something. But no, nothing, I saw an area shot of all the workers and there wasn’t a sea of yellow VMs.  I didn’t see anything like that.  At this point, the anchor woman was begging for any kind of good news, as they still had zero survivors.  I felt a little duped, but I justified it away.   I mean, maybe Julie was just misinformed.

My next time on course, Julie gave us another briefing, but this time it was about an OT8 who was in the building while it was falling, and he was in the middle of running down the stairs and started to roll down ten flights as the building was collapsing. This OT managed to roll out of the building and walk away without a scratch. EXCUSE ME?!  Are you claiming OT powers right now?  Because there is no way anyone within the vicinity of that building could be alive when it fell.

I knew this was total bullshit, but I looked around in amazement and everyone else in the course room was so pumped.  It was hard getting through course that night, but when I got home, there was nothing of the magic OT8 tumbler.  I figured their intentions were good in trying to keep people happy during this tragic time, but you cannot just lie to people for their own good.  I felt cheated; no, wait, I was cheated.


Thursday, October 15th, 2009


Part I: Beginning in Scientology (Dates, places have been omitted).

I was 16. I met a person in my city while continuing with my schooling. I was in my last year of college and getting ready for university. I had some trouble with communication and one of my uncle knew a guy who could help me with this. I went to his Office (I will omit some data to keep it short). I then did the communication course there. I like it a lot and find out that I could communicate. I was not shy anymore… I then was sent to the org by that guy. I did receive some auditing from a student. Was not bad but I did not know what we were doing. Not sure ????? a bit confusion. I know now that the student was horrible but OK he was a student. I was excited because I was still young and getting interested. I was ready promotion fliers on what Ron did. Was great and amazing. Then came two guys in strange uniforms. In fact 2 SO members. They told me about the ship, Ron, the Sea Org, OT III…. was exciting. I was young, had trouble with my family and this was an opportunity to get out of all this. They promise me an apartment, money, job, auditing, courses for free. Was great. Then I quite college and told my parent I was going. They were fine after meeting those 2 guys. When I arrive there, I did the EFP, was horrible. Cleaning up old building which was sold later one. The building was sold because it was in front of a Psych hospital. The SO member who did the job of buying it got onto the RPF for this. Anyway, managed to get through. On the EPF the food was bad, and even sometimes NO FOOD AT ALL. BAD no ?

Then I finished it and went to my org. Got into a post I did not want but did it. I did not have the choice. After few months I wanted to leave BUT I stayed there because I had stopped my schooling, no diplomas, no future. Now I know this is not true but this is how I was looking at it when I was 17. So I stay. I learnt English there. Was difficult but manage to do OK at it. For a while I was going on study because I was new and not much attention was on me. Then I started to do very well at what I was doing. Then the attention was on me. I was being demanded to do more and more. It was difficult and less study to learn about my post. Then after a year and a half, I started to do false reports in my stats. Then I came clean on it but got shot with a comm ev as a first gradient. What an application of the ethics gradient isn’t it ? Then got in more trouble and did not know what to do. New, no tech ???? my first friend worked in HCO and told me what to do. I sent a telex to RTC about it. It came down as a rocket on my org. I did not get into trouble for this. Everything was cancelled. In fact my senior was doing worse out ethics than me She is the one who got shot for this and onto the RPF. Then I met a girl and we got married. She got pregnant no long after. We got into trouble for this but at that time we could go to a class V org. Then we went. (I skipped some stuff here). Then got into that org. Went well for a while. Then our 2D did not do well. After some time I left back to the SO. (again I skipped some stuff here). In fact I was recalled in between to the CLO for a major Int Event evolution. I was the I/C for a continent. For 3 months, I had 1 to 2 hours of sleep daily. It was difficult and stupid I think. We would have produce even more with some sleep. The event went OK. Highest Ever attendance. So I was happy. I went back to my org. I was sleeping on my desk for 2 weeks almost daily. My body went into shock. Then it was fine. Well now our 2D went bad and got some marriage counseling which did not handle it. Well I went back to the Sea Org base. Got into an org. Got posted immediately. Oh, I re did the EPF. This took 10 days. Nothing to say about it. Went fast and was OK. During that time on org was going St Hill Size so I was put into that one. Went onto post. My English was not that great at that time. I worked hard at it by reading books, listening to lectures…. Then I wanted to leave because I missed my kid. They got me in session, sec checks, threatened me that I could be declared… I got scared that I could not see my kid anymore. So I stayed. Life went on. Did better and better on my post. I made good friends with some GREAT people. One especially who helped me daily for more than a year. After that I did even better. Great stats, great commendation from a lot of people and even Int Exec. I continued and got promoted to a higher post. Was tough at the beginning but did well. The org did very well as a result of my actions. Not only mine but I contributed BIG TIME TO IT. Then some execs took advantages of me and got me to do stuff which resulted in good statistics. They took the credit for it. I was upsets and crashed my stats. SERVICE FACSIMILE

Then got Comm Ev for it. Then management was going crazy trying to find out what the fuck was going wrong. I asked to see my ethics files. OF COURSE, there were plenty of false reports written on me. I sent a KR to RTC with evidences that those KRs were wrong. I had commendations from those guys who were saying I was unproductive…. I skip some parts here. Then the comm ev was cancelled. I went back on post and the stats took off again in my area. I became responsible for over 20 people. All of them did well. Of course with some difficulties some times. Not everything was fine. More was demanded. Less sleep, less study…. some guys left the SO. I wanted to as well but did not know what I would do outside and I was afraid not to see my kid again….

Then I managed to be sent on tour time to time to do events. This was great. I could get out, see people, meet wog too in airports, cities… and as well I could visit new places. So it was good. Came back every time….. i skip some stuff.

Then I got promoted again. I had much much more responsibilities and this is when I started to really look at stuff. Only on that type of post, you start to really see much more about the church. Finances, staff, Execs levels what is going on, the truth of the executive structures…. And at that point, this is when I started to SEE ……… And this is maybe why the church is afraid that I speak. Why? some truth they don’t want people to know about ………

I would not say that I was highly ranked SO member but I did have some responsibilities. Highly ranked would be RTC, Exec Strata. This is what I think. So I travelled a lot in between. I then arrived at the HGB in Los Angeles…. I was told that I was not qualified for the Sea Org. This was so funny because I had been in there for so long already. Then it was a mistake done by the Security guy. Funny isn’t it? the guy did not know what the Fuck he was speaking about. Then I got posted at a higher post…. as mentioned earlier. I had view to the scientology finances, postings in orgs, what was going on in some orgs… Then I can tell you the truth on the fact that Scientology is interested in MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. They want MONEY and MONEY and MONEY. The delivery is what MAKES THE MONEY and to GET MORE MONEY from people. The wins, the new releases…. is for more MONEY. Posting people in key areas in orgs is to get more money again and again. I was myself pushed to get more money and everyone was made to produce for more money. So I am stopping now with the money stuff. The church is loaded with money. It has account with millions of dollars and 10 of thousands going in there weekly. If the GI stat is down, this is a big ETHICS actions. If the delivery stats are down, this is bad but not like if the GI is down. The building are own by scientology but the orgs have to pay rent to management. The rent for one specific org is about $10,000 a week so management can get money. At one point, I was going to be promoted to a higher post. I was asked who could replace me. I had a junior who was a very good friend who I proposed. They told me that it could not because he was a key person who the GI production line. Then a month or 2 later, there was an evolution to send people to FSO and INT management. He was one of the few qualified to go. He was taken right away and replace not qualified for the job and who did not want to do it. I then raised hell for it, and I was of course and block to the evolution and out ethics. I would be investigated for this. I shut off of course to keep quiet in my area. Then I was forced to come down from my executive position to handled this area of the org and to make some money for the org. Of course again, I was told I was more interested in making personnal money because I was not doing the function of my post. When mentionning the removal of my junior and replaced by someone unqualified, I got shot. I got a court of ethics, in fact an Executive court of ethics which is in fact the same stuff. I got lower condition, amends to make to executives above me…. Weird. I did it, I did not have the choice.

Then life became difficult and not fun. I was there doing the job because I had nothing else to do. Then came the release of the basics. This became hell. No study, no sleep…. I already explained all this in the Thread “Hi new here”. I wanted to get out at that point. I did not know how. I was married to this beautiful, nice, incredible girl. I love her. I had a kid that I do not see anymore. I love her and so does she. I know that she wants to see me but she knows that I am declared and all the family is scientologist. Anyway, then during the basics evolution, it was difficult, no sleep…. as mentioned earlier and I won’t explain it again. One major exec was also getting major donations from scientologist. One time I did a registration cycle with him. I was shocked. He lied so much to that couple and got over 30,000 from them. He promised auditing for free, free courses…. I was surprise. Of course later on during my ethics cycle, he said that I was the one who did all this. This was not true. I wrote a knowledge report on him but nothing happen. I then did something wrong and won’t give the details here and went into ethics. I came clean on all this before hand and went to ethics. I spent many months off post and doing MEST work…. and no auditing. The day of my comm ev, I was not prepared. I had asked for my files, commendations for weeks to get ready. The day the comm ev started I was not ready of course. It seems that some people wanted me shot dead and why I had never received my files. I wrote to RTC about it and my files came in. I put everything together showing what I did for scientology during all those years. They did not care. I was almost a year off post and nothing was moving. At the beginning I had been in a small auditing room for many weeks without being let out and being able to walk… It was horrible. At one point, I thought I was going insane. I was then moved with others in the basement. I could not get out neither. During my auditing I blew. I left at night. I had calculated it and knew where to go, at what time…. I went. I won’t say here where and how. But the next day I called in, to get my bags and to bring them to me. They were all so nice to me. Two guys came to see me. No bags of course. I told them I had made the necessary to get out. They spent many hours trying to handle me to come back. I then got my auditor on the phone. Very nice auditor that I like very much. I then decided to go back but mentioned that I was leaving in few weeks done or not done. Note that I had been already in there for a year. A YEAR LOST. I finally got through. I was shown some legal documents to sign. I did not agree with them or what was said. I will spare the details again. Sorry but a security for myself at this point. I signed them in front of a camera and they asked me if I was under the influence of drugs, if I was forced to sign those papers…. I said NO of course, otherwise, I would still be there getting sec checked. I signed those papers. I wanted to get out. I was going nuts in that place. I know a guys who was there for a year and a half. He was not even started with his leaving sec check. I may still be there lol. I made other friends on the decks too. People I had never spoken to. Similar situations and stories as mine.

In fact the church got me to sign all those papers and scared me so I would not speak or say stuff regarding the inside. I know enough to support or confirm what is being said all around the internet on the scam, money, staff situations, living conditions…. I was known to a lot of scientologists and it could be a problem for the church if they would hear about my story……… then I came out. I am building up my life again with studies, training, meeting people, making new friends…. I am having fun. In fact, what scientology is telling you is that life outside is crazy, lots of out ethics…. of course there are some of those stuff but SCIENTOLOGY IS MAKING IT like it was everywhere. This is not true. LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE NICE, FUNNY, WANTING A BETTER PLACE, AGAINST DRUGS, AGAINST CRIMINALITY. LOTS OF ASSOCIATION DO HAVE SOLUTION AS WELL. Of course the church will say “THEY DO NOT HAVE THE TECH”. This is crap, they have answers too. So i decided to come on that forum to speak and meet others. I wanted to see what the other side was saying. Now I understand why the church doesn’t want the staff to access the internet and to read stuff. They know this is dangerous for their survival……. There you have it. A small version. Sorry if I skipped some details and times in there.|